Everyone's obsessed with Olympians' sex lives. Why?
The Olympics are back, and that means an "s" word is once again on everyone's minds − and it's not just "sports."
It's sex.
In the weeks leading up to the games, fans and media outlets are buzzing about all the sex that supposedly happens among athletes − as they do every Olympics season. A rumor even circulated this year that Olympic organizers implemented "anti-sex" beds made out of cardboard at the Olympic Village where athletes stay. In a TikTok with 2.7 million views, diver Tom Daley tested out the durability of the single-person beds, though officials have made it clear the beds, which were also used for the 2021 Tokyo games, are not intended to curb sex among athletes.
And a video showing off the condoms being handed out in the Olympic Village has garnered more than 350,000 views on TikTok.
America's prurient interest in Olympians' sex lives bears out in data too. According to an online survey conducted by Rizz, an app for flirting, about 71% of people between 18 and 27 are at least somewhat curious about the dating and romantic lives of Olympians.
Why is it that every time the Olympics roll around, many focus on the sex lives of the world-class athletes gathered for the games? Mental health and relationship experts say that, on the one hand, the answer's pretty obvious: Olympians are in peak physical condition and, therefore, likely subjects of sexual desire and fantasy.
But on the other, the interest may reveal something deeper about our society's relationship with sex in general.
"We do have a society that's largely sex negative. We kind of talk about sexuality in hushed tones," therapist Erik Anderson says. "We don't talk about sex as being a great source of wellbeing, pleasure and peak life experiences. That's largely left out of our sex education, largely left out of the way that we discuss it in the media."
Sexless marriages are a serious problem.We need to talk about it.
Why is sex such a big topic of the Olympics?
Ian Kerner, a therapist and sex and relationship specialist, says nobody should be too surprised that sex becomes a big topic of the Olympics. Olympians tend to be good-looking, he says. Plus, people in general tend to wonder and fantasize about the private romantic lives of professional athletes and celebrities.
"Olympians are generally young and in peak condition," he says. "They have the glow of health, and their bodies are super well-conditioned. They're also often half-naked."
Still, he suspects rumors about sex in the Olympic Village to be largely overblown. After all, the Olympic athletes have an important job to do.
"Sometimes it sounds like off-the-field it's one big sex party, when, more than likely, they're resting and focused on sleep, not sex," Kerner says.
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
Sex also isn't an unusual thing to happen among young adults in social settings in general, and the Olympics are no different. Sara Nasserzadeh, a social psychologist and author of the book "Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love," says what makes it more of a hot topic at the Olympics is the visibility of the event.
The fact that this year's Olympics are hosted in Paris − also known as the "City of Love" − has also likely fueled the discourse this year.
"In general, any gathering of people that are coming together around endorphins and adrenaline − even the big concerts for example, big music or art festivals − there are conversations around sex and pleasure and connections, because this is one of the ways that people connect," Nasserzadeh says. "But, specifically because it's in Paris, and Paris is linked to sensuality, I think there's a lot of conversation this year."
Sex with a narcissist can be electric.It makes relationships with them more confusing.
Is there a right way to talk about sex and the Olympics?
Though curiosity around Olympians' sex and romantic lives is normal, sometimes it can go too far. Passing judgement or making assumptions about certain athletes, for instance, is never appropriate, psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says.
"Judgment is not something to really pursue or to look at in the circumstance, because we don't know people and the people that are in the Olympics, and we can't speak for them," she says.
Nasserzadeh adds that the Olympics also offer an important opportunity to broaden our society's discussions around sex. Often, she says, public discourse around sex emphasizes the risks and dangers inherent to sex; seldom does it include talk of pleasure.
This year, she hopes that discussion changes and people can talk about sex with less fear.
"Every time there was an Olympics, people would ask me, 'Is it OK for athletes to have sex or not? Would this weaken them or not? Is it safe or not?' " she says. "But this time, it seems like for the first time, we are also talking about sex, pleasure, consent."