How to get over a break up during Valentine's Day

Heartbreak can come with a gut-wrenching hole in your chest, but Valentine's Day can make that hole feel like a never-ending abyss. Fortunately, professionals say there are solutions out there, even if you aren't feeling 100% O.K. right now.

According to Becky Arroyo, a therapist and trauma-informed yogi based in Miami, the number one thing she recommends for anyone with a broken heart is self-love.

"Pouring into yourself more than you typically would is a really good way to work through some of the emotions that come with heartbreak or grief or loss," Arroyo told USA TODAY.

This can mean spending some time with friends, getting into hobbies or even taking yourself out on a date.

Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor based in Oregon who posts relationship advice on TikTok as @TherapyJeff to his over 2.8 million followers, told USA TODAY that people need to keep in mind that they might still feel jealous, angry and desperate.

He recommends folks create some digital boundaries and avoid looking at their ex's social media.

Get to know yourself before you jump into another relationship

Speaking of being desperate, experts say you shouldn't run to Tinder to find a Valentine's date and jump head-first into a new relationship before you've had a chance to heal from your last one.

Arroyo recommends getting to know yourself and learning about your emotions before trying to rebound into another relationship. She says one of the activities folks can do to help themselves process what happened is journaling.

According to Arroyo, journaling can help uncover someone's feelings and get down to the root of their emotions. Plus, it helps the person explore their new identity now that they're single.

"So, it's like you're kind of finding yourself again and exploring who you are," said Arroyo.

Guenther said heart-breakees can use journaling to check in on their feelings and understand them better.

Some journaling prompts he recommended are:

• How do I feel right now?
• What's a compassionate response that I can give to myself?
• If I were my own therapist, best friend or parent who's really loving, what would I say to myself?

Arroyo also uses an oracle deck, similar to a tarot deck, with her clients to allow them to analyze how they resonate with the cards they pull. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a higher power or superstitious being. She says oracle cards provide people with "some hope, some guidance [and] some information to really hold on to," and allows them to explore feelings they may not have been aware of before.

Be your own Valentine

You don't need to have a partner this Valentine's to go out on a date. Arroyo says to do whatever it is you want to do, just do it alone.

"Because at the end of the day, you're the most important person you have," she said.

But if Valentine's isn't going to be the best day for you, Guenther says to plan how and who you want to spend the day with,.

"Come up with a self care plan, just in case you're feeling really down or bummed," Guenther told USA TODAY. " I'd encourage you to really pamper yourself."

Arroyo says to have affirmations ready to go for when you start to feel the sadness rear its head.

"It sounds silly, but maybe have them typed out on your phone," she said. "Reminders that you feel are going to help you with those [sad] moments."

Does masturbation help you get over a breakup?

Plenty of good dates end up with two, or more, people doing the horizontal tango. So, why shouldn't a good solo date end in the same kind of fashion? And no, this does not mean take yourself out and then end up in someone else's bed.

Instead, be your own friend-with-benefits.

Guenther says masturbation, whether with a toy or the old-fashioned way, can be a great stress release and a good way to do self-care.

"Then ask yourself how you're feeling during and afterward," said Guenther. "Are you feeling clear-headed? Are you feeling satisfied? Those are feelings that you're aiming to feel."

But, he says if your feel sad or you start to cry while fantasizing about your ex or start to crave them even more, then you should take a step back because it might not be the best solution for you.

"But, I would encourage you to try it at least once," says Guenther. "To see what it does to your mind and your heart."

Arroyo says she would only recommend it to someone who is open to the idea, but not someone who's unsure or new to it.

For those who aren't fully on board with this particular pastime, she recommends they do other activities that bring them joy, peace, and happiness.

It can be Galentine's instead

If being alone isn't appealing, you can always celebrate Galentine's day.

In February, folks don't just have to celebrate romantic love. Love comes in all forms, whether it's platonic or familial. Spending the day with other people you love can be a great distraction.

"Galentine's Day or friends Valentine's Day is a really healthy thing to do if you're feeling a bit heartbroken," says Guenther.

The at-home spa can quickly become a girl's night filled with chick flicks, candy popcorn, tears and laughter.

Whatever it is you decide to do, good luck and happy Valentine's Day. Remember that this pain will pass with time, even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment.