A thank you to sports moms everywhere. You masters of logistics and snacks. We see you.
Meet my friend, Dana Yoo.
Dana works full time as a cell biologist and vice president of research and development at a biotech company.
She has another role, one she jokes, that could be her actual full-time job.
Dana is a sports mom. To my wife and me, Dana is the ideal sports mom. You might know someone like her, the mom from the team who gets everyone organized and wears a variety of hats.
She wipes noses and wipes away kids’ doubts, cheering like heck but also knowing when to stay quiet and offer her arm or shoulder for support. It seems ingrained in her DNA to not only multitask, but to make it look easy.
"She is doing so much that I really can’t keep up," says Dana’s husband, Chris Antolik. "Dana tells me where to go and when."
Dana has counted Little League board member, scorekeeper, team event coordinator, video streamer, first aid provider ("I always have my first aid kit ready to go!" she says) and assistant coach among her many unofficial positions.
Most of all, Dana is a rooter − for their sons, Caius, 15, and Marcus, 14, and for all of the boys on our Northern Virginia baseball teams.
"What makes me love being a sports mom isn’t just that I get to spend so much time with my kids," she says. "I love getting to know the teammates and their families. They are my community."
This weekend, as we honor what our wives and moms mean to us, we can also salute their roles in sports that can sometimes be underappreciated, if not unnoticed.
Sports moms are often the engines of our kids’ athletic pursuits, and their love endures whether those pursuits are realized or not. Whether they are biologists, teachers or national championship winning coaches, they are always moms first. Here are three reasons to celebrate them all.
1. Sports moms are omnipresent
Maryland head women’s basketball coach Brenda Frese has to miss a lot of her sons’ games, but she is always present in the minds of her 16-year-old twins, Tyler and Markus.
"When she does make it, the boys are excited to have mom in the stands watching," says Frese’s husband, Mark Thomas. "Then they always choose to ride home with her and not me.”
Tyler was diagnosed with leukemia at 2 years old. It was treatable, and any time his parents see him on the court or field, they cherish his health and just the ability to play. Frese sits quietly in the stands and takes careful notes on her sons' performances, only offering feedback if they come to her for it. They often do.
"You have your own opinions but I’m never gonna voice those to my son," she told USA TODAY Sports last year. "It needs to be their path."
The twins have also internalized what a well-organized program looks like, their father says, by hanging around Frese’s Maryland team, feeding players shots and their mom lineup advice.
"Brenda thrives in situations where there are a lot of moving parts," Thomas says. "I’m not ashamed to admit that a lot of times, women are better planners than men, and I think that’s a huge help with a sports team. When I’ve coached youth teams, my best team managers have been moms.
"Team managers handle things like communicating with parents, organizing who brings snacks, team party, etc. But they do well as head coaches, too. I think a lot of moms are a nurturing presence. Sometimes they see things a little differently than guys do. It can be a healthy balance to have moms and dads both involved."
Given the demands of Frese’s job, Thomas oversees their boys' activities. But when mom comes home, Thomas says, they forget about him.
"I become invisible," he says with a laugh. "But the dog still loves me."
Even if a sports mom isn't physically present, trust me, they're there. They may be in the athletes' minds, like Frese, or show up in the way they play. Or, their fingerprints could be on the fresh uniforms, bags of snacks and countless extras that go into maintaining a youth sports team.
Coach Steve: 'What are we doing to youth sports?' Brenda Frese asks
2. Masters of logistics
Like Frese, Kim Newsome, who lives with her family near Princeton, New Jersey, has been a constant reassuring presence for her sons. Unlike Frese, she hasn’t always been quiet. That’s usually the role of her husband, Leon, a former football player at Princeton who’s now chief security officer for the NBA.
"I’m there on the sidelines losing my mind and the former athlete (says), ‘That was an error. OK, get the next one,'" she says jokingly.
Kim, an educator by trade, and Leon have three boys: Grant, 27; Garrett, 22; and Gaines, 15. Garrett and Gaines have excelled at baseball. Grant played baseball extensively before he switched to football and wound up starting on the University of Michigan’s offensive line.
Kim wasn't a super competitive athlete growing up in the 1980s. Even when she met Leon at Princeton, she admits she never really thought about being a sports mom. She had no idea of the intricacies that went into it.
"You become a master of logistics," she says. "Practice or games for each child two to three times a week, weekends that often involve traveling far enough to need a hotel stay, figuring out who would take which children where. My husband traveled a lot for work, so that was always something we had to factor into the equation as well.
"Oh, and the laundry, my goodness it never ended with three boys. I was just telling a friend yesterday that the greatest surprise from our youngest son's school was that they wash their baseball uniforms."
Being a sports mom is something you grow into and learn to thrive. We’ve all had those dreaded 8 a.m. weekend games. Kim has always liked to find a bakery to make sure the boys on the team have early-morning donuts. The mental load of planning and making sports an experience above and beyond the basics is overwhelmingly handled by sports moms, in my experience.
"Really, just trying to keep it fun so it never felt like a grind for the kids being at a baseball tournament all weekend," she says. "Other moms made sure we always had wine for the hotel lobby at night, which was amazing. We all had our roles."
Being a sports mom, of course, runs much deeper. Grant seemed destined for the NFL when, in 2016, a devastating injury ended his career and threatened to take his leg.
When he was initially hurt, he wanted to walk off the field so that Kim, watching from the stands, wouldn’t worry.
"Of course, I was worried," she says.
After Grant retired from football, he got his bachelor's degree and then master’s from Michigan in public policy. He is now the Wolverines' offensive line coach.
As sports moms know, wins and losses, as important as they seem at the time, are secondary. They want our kids to emerge triumphantly from the sports experience.
"Grant’s injury was a point of real, profound adversity for him and for our family," Kim told me last spring, still getting emotional. "The way he navigated it, and the way our younger boys navigated it – I mean, for 38 days, when he was in the hospital, one of their parents was never home ‘cause we were tag-teaming being with Grant. And my parents and Leon’s mom stepped in.
"As a mom, I’m proud of the athletic accomplishments but most proud of that."
Coach Steve:How a Grant Newsome and his parents navigated unexpected change
3. They never stop being Mom ― to anyone who needs one
Three years ago, Kim and middle son Garrett awoke in the dark on the Friday after Thanksgiving to drive to Ann Arbor. They wanted to see Michigan play Ohio State, and to see Grant coach.
I recall a similarly early morning when I arrived at my friend Dana' house to pick up my older son, Connor. She let him and his brother sleep over so my wife and I could have a night out.
Connor had a baseball game. He told me Dana not only woke him up in time but made him a full breakfast to eat before his game.
Dana’s warmth has always shined through in her adopted role, which, as all sports moms know, extends far beyond your own children.
"I have been so lucky to see the kids and their friends and teammates grow up together," she says. "I love rooting for their friends and seeing their success as much as I do for my own kids. But I love that the kids, their families and coaches always know that I will be eager to help in any way I can."
My younger son, Liam, and I are with Dana at a tournament this weekend. Dana coordinates a carpool among several families on the team (“I have a detailed spreadsheet!” she says) and plans our lunch and evening activities.
There will likely come a moment after the boys’ last game on Mother's Day when our coach will ask them to walk over and hug their parents for taking them here.
If you’re at a game somewhere, make sure you embrace your favorite sports mom, too. For she is the true hero of the sidelines.
Steve Borelli, aka Coach Steve, has been an editor and writer with USA TODAY since 1999. He spent 10 years coaching his two sons’ baseball and basketball teams. He and his wife, Colleen, are now sports parents for a high schooler and middle schooler. His column is posted weekly. For his past columns, click here.
