Is it acceptable to recommend my girlfriend as a job candidate in my company? Ask HR

Johnny C. Taylor Jr. tackles your human resources questions as part of a series for USA TODAY. Taylor is president and CEO of the Society for Human Resource Management, the world's largest HR professional society and author of "Reset: A Leader’s Guide to Work in an Age of Upheaval.”

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Question: My company has struggled to fill a position for months. I’ve been tempted to recommend my girlfriend for the job, but I worry about creating an awkward or problematic work dynamic. Should I be worried about how this might play out? – Tyler 

Answer: It's not uncommon for individuals to find themselves in situations where they can potentially recommend a personal connection for a job within their organization. However, your concerns about the impact on the workplace dynamic are valid and should be taken seriously. However, with the right approach, this can all work out for the best and avoid any potential snafus. 

Start by thoroughly reviewing your employer's policies on personal relationships. Most organizations have guidelines regarding hiring family members, but some also address the employment of significant others. Understanding the rules in place will provide you with clarity on what is permissible and what isn't.

Often, restrictions on personal relationships in the workplace are based on potential conflicts of interest. Employers typically aim to avoid situations where close personal relationships intersect with supervisory roles or decision-making beneficial to individuals with emotional ties. Evaluate whether the position you're considering recommending your girlfriend for involves any conflicts of interest.

Perhaps most importantly, transparency is vital. If you decide to recommend your girlfriend, transparency is crucial. Be honest with your employer about your relationship from the outset. Concealing it can lead to mistrust and speculation among your colleagues. Transparency will also ensure that your employer can make an informed decision about how to proceed.

If your girlfriend is hired, it's essential to maintain professionalism at all times. Avoid showing favoritism or providing preferential treatment. Establish clear boundaries to separate your personal and professional lives at work.

It's best to recommend your girlfriend for a role where neither of you will be in a direct supervisory position over the other. This will minimize the potential for favoritism or the perception of bias in decisions related to her employment.

Establish clear guidelines with your girlfriend on how you will handle workplace interactions and conflicts. Discuss how you'll manage situations where personal issues may affect your work or vice versa.

Pay attention to the workplace dynamics around you. If you notice any signs of discomfort or concern from colleagues, address them promptly and professionally. Open communication can help mitigate any perceived issues.

While it's not inherently wrong to recommend your girlfriend for a job, it's essential to approach the situation cautiously and follow your company's policies and guidelines. Keeping your relationship above board, maintaining professionalism, and being transparent will help create a more harmonious work environment. Ultimately, finding a safe middle ground that respects both your personal relationship and the workplace dynamics is key to making this situation work.

Should I just quit?My new job is stressful with long hours and not as prescribed.

I took a three-year leave from my career to move back home and care for my ailing mother. How can I reenter today’s job market after taking time away? – Karam 

Firstly, dedicating three years of your life to caring for your ailing mother is a noble and selfless act, and it's understandable to feel apprehensive about reentering the job market after this break. Rest assured; you can successfully make this transition with the right approach.

Here are some critical steps to help you navigate your return to the workforce:

1. Start by taking stock of your previous career experience and the skills you possess. Understand what made you successful in your previous roles and how those skills can translate into the positions you are targeting.
2. Be sure to update your resume with any relevant experience you gained while away. This could include seminars, webcasts, workshops, or books you've read related to your field. Highlighting your commitment to continuous learning is a great way to show your dedication to staying current.
3. If your industry has evolved during your absence, consider taking relevant courses or obtaining certifications to showcase your updated competencies. This can demonstrate your commitment to professional growth.
4. Soft skills such as communication, time management, and organization are coveted. Cite examples of how you've utilized these skills in your previous roles and during your caregiving experience.
5. If you engaged in any volunteer work during your time off, especially related to your desired field, highlight this in your resume. Volunteer work can demonstrate your transferrable skills and your commitment to giving back to the community.
6. Reach out to your former colleagues and managers in your field of interest. Inform them about your intention to return to the workforce and inquire about any opportunities or insights they may have. They can be valuable advocates and provide you with leads.
7. Leverage your professional network to assess the industry's current state. Understanding the challenges and opportunities can help you tailor your approach and expectations accordingly.
8.  Temporary or contract positions can be a great way to ease back into the workforce. They allow you to showcase your skills and build confidence while reacclimating to work demands.

Remember, reentering the job market may take some time and effort, but with your determination and the support of your network, you can successfully transition back into a fulfilling career. Stay positive, stay persistent, and believe in your abilities. Your caregiving experience has likely equipped you with resilience, adaptability, and empathy –highly valued qualities in any workplace.

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