A healing Psalm: After car wreck took 3 kids, surrogacy allowed her to become a mom again.

An Indiana woman who has spent the past five years grieving the loss of her children is now celebrating after the birth of her baby boy via surrogacy, and she has given him a name that will forever connect him to the big brother he never got to meet.

Brittany Ingle of Akron, Indiana lost three of her children, 9-year-old Alivia and 6-year-old twins Xzavier and Mason on Oct. 30, 2018 in an accident at a school bus stop. This past September, she welcomed a baby boy via surrogacy, naming him Psalm Patrick Ingle.

Now 3½ months old, baby Psalm is doing well, his mother told USA TODAY Thursday morning. He joins Ingle, her husband Shane, and her 16-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

“I’m literally restarting,” Ingle said. “I have one that’s going to be a senior and a baby.”

She had her first child, Selena, during a previous relationship when she was 17 years old. She welcomed her daughter Alivia in 2008. After that, she met her now husband, Shane, and had the couple’s twin boys.

To have her latest addition, Psalm, she had to go the surrogate route because of previous medical complications. She had heavy menstrual cycles when she was younger so after she had her four children, she had her tubes removed and had a uterine ablation, making it impossible for her to have more children.

“I didn't know two years later, my children were going to be killed,” she told USA TODAY, adding that she eventually saw a specialist to see if there was any way she could have kids despite the ablation. But it wasn’t possible, meaning she’d have to have a surrogate if she wanted more kids.

The couple thought it over for a year or so and then decided they’d find a surrogate. They started the process, first freezing her eggs, and then reached out to surrogacy agencies.

Welcoming baby Psalm was a different experience but the love is the same, Ingle said.

“I've had kids myself and then I've had one through surrogacy and you love them just the same,” she said. “It was an instant connection.”

She also said she and her husband had to grieve and grow together. When you suffer such a huge loss, you’re not the same person. You grieve differently, she said, adding that many couples who lose children split up.

Mother recounts accident that claimed the lives of three children and injured another

Ingle’s children died in October 2018. The family was living in Rochester, Indiana at the time, about 60 miles west of Fort Wayne. A woman driving through the area failed to stop for a school bus, killing them and injuring another child.

The driver was convicted and sentenced to three years on house arrest with three years suspended. She was also put on probation and her driver's license was suspended for 10 years. She was released in March 2022 after serving just over two years, the South Bend Tribune reported.

After the death of her children, Ingle pushed for stricter laws regarding bus safety. Called the MAX Strong bill, the bill is named after Mason, Alivia and Xzavier. 

The law went into effect on July 1, 2019 and increases penalties for drivers who pass stopped school buses when stop arms are extended, television station WBND-LD reported. It also requires school districts to review school bus routes and bus safety policies.

Ingle would like to see laws such as this at the federal level though, she said.

“This won't bring my kids back, but I can prevent somebody from going through the pain that my husband and I do and give other children a chance at life,” she told USA TODAY. “What happened to my kids was awful and they were taken for such a selfish reason.”

Mother searched for a surrogate and found a friend and sister instead

Once time had gone by and Ingle decided to have more children, she worked with Family Choice Surrogacy, an agency in Indiana. Through the agency, they learned it’s sometimes easier to ask friends and family about carrying babies for you.

Leah Potter is the founder of Family Choice Surrogacy and said there are usually more aspiring parents than surrogates, so asking loved ones is recommended.

“The requirements to be a surrogate are rigorous,” Potter told USA TODAY Wednesday. “It's a huge obligation for the woman carrying the child … We do have a wait time for intended parents to be matched with the surrogate and that varies on a lot of criteria.”

The agency said if the Ingles found a surrogate on their own, they’d be happy to guide them through the process.

Ingle made a post looking for a surrogate in 2021, about three years after the accident that took her children's’ lives. That’s when Keri Fox reached out to her.

“You're going to think I'm crazy but I always wanted to be a surrogate,” she told Ingle at the time.

Fox lived about 20 minutes from the family and they knew each other already because sadly, they had similar experiences losing children of their own. Her son was also killed by a driver who failed to stop about eight months after Ingle’s children passed away.

“I reached out to her at that time just to offer some support to another mother who had gone through such a devastating loss,” Ingle said.

What are the requirements for surrogacy?

Potter, from Family Choice Surrogacy, said surrogates are required to have stable lifestyles, previous, healthy pregnancies and births and financial stability. There are psychological evaluations and other processes surrogates must undergo as well.

For families trying to have babies via surrogacy, it’s a pricey process and can cost $150,000 plus some.

Some people think surrogates are giving a baby up, she said, but it’s the opposite.

“What we like to say is the surrogate is not giving the baby up,” she said. “The surrogate is giving the baby back to its family. This isn't her baby. This is the intended parents’ baby and she comes into this fully prepared.”

She said surrogacy is a beautiful process.

“It is truly a process that's typically derived from love and compassion,” Potter said.

'Psalm' is more than a name for this family

Ingle said the day her kids died started off like any other one. She got her kids ready for school and her son, Mason, asked her what she thought about dog tags he’d received at an earlier Halloween event. He wasn’t sure which one he should wear to school. 

She took a glance and picked one out, and then the boys, along with their sister Alivia, headed to the bus stop.

Ingle went to grab a hoodie before heading out the door and heard screaming. When she went outside, she saw kids laying on the ground and eventually found out three of them were hers.

“I was frozen,” she said. “I was in shock. I was searching for my other daughter, Alivia. My kids always walked hand-in-hand. Alivia loved her brothers. She was like a mother hen to those two, always. From the minute I brought them home, she was in love with them.”

She knew Alivia wouldn’t have gone very far without them and soon found out she was hit as well, thrown 87 feet into a ditch. Ingle recalled running back and forth, checking on her children. Her boys were gone and while Alivia had a faint pulse, she was eventually pronounced dead at the scene.

Ingle recalls the coroner picking the children up and taking the dog tag her son had with her. The day after the childrens’ autopsies were done, she was able to see her children. 

While there, the coroner mentioned the dog tag and Ingle’s husband asked for it. It had the bible verse Psalm 119:105 written on it.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path,” the verse read.

And so, she named her baby boy Psalm.

Parenting is different now that she’s older, mom says

Ingle said motherhood is different when you’re older. Her daughter has helped her though, and she loves seeing how much joy baby Psalm has brought to their family in just 3½ months.

Their new baby is “very chill," Ingle said, adding that she’s ready for the fun part – the talking, walking and playing.

“I'm sure I'll regret that,” she laughed.

After losing Mason, Alivia and Xzavier, the Ingles struggled to go on. Having Psalm here to raise has been a blessing.

“To see my husband come alive again and wake up with a smile on his face, kissing our son in the morning,” Ingle recalled. “That man has struggled every day to get out of bed.”