Are you an accidental Instagram creep? The truth about 'reply guys' on social media

You scroll through Instagram and like every post you see. You watch an acquaintance's Story as soon as they post it. You leave a comment on a post or two. Then it hits you: Didn't you just leave a comment on that person's post yesterday? And the day before that? And last week?

Are you a "reply guy," or accidental Instagram creep?

Experts say you should look inward if you feel like this sounds like you, and to consider taking a step back if this behavior is bleeding into obsession territory.

"If the behavior feels uncomfortable or excessive to the recipient, that is valid and should be explored/attended to," says Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker.

Reply guys and pick me girls: 'A signal of affection'

The terms "reply guy" and "pick me gay" are internet trends that fit into the Venn diagram of this phenomenon. Women can be guilty of this behavior too (but don't get confused, a "pick me girl" is something else entirely). An Instagram creep is someone who offers unprompted significant attention online to certain individuals they've taken an interest in, publicly or privately.

"It is a strategy to send a signal of affection – whether it be to a romantic partner, or a close friend, but it can also be perceived as being 'too much,' too interested and too involved," says Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary's University in Canada. "At worst, it might be seen as being possessive, as in the person absolutely has to be the first to comment, to establish their importance in front of others."

Not every Instagram creep, of course, has the same intentions, with some lighthearted and innocent and some more serious. Ahrens suggests several explanations:

• The person may be unaware of how they're acting (maybe someone who is older or less familiar with today's social media etiquette.
• The person may have a "fanatic" tendency and is "sincerely passionate or supportive" of a brand or influencer.
• The person might be exhibiting stalker behavior and could be mentally or emotionally unstable.
• The person could have "another agenda other than simply being a fan."

"They might not follow many people, and that combined with the frequency of being online means they have a higher likelihood of seeing the posts quickly," Fisher says. "In a way, it could be simply an exposure effect – they are exposed to the content more reliably, and faster, than other followers."

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How to stop being a reply guy or Instagram creep

If you feel like you're the creeper, there's a quick way to fix the problem: stop.

"Actions, here, certainly would speak more than words, and resisting the urge to comment or like every post, would be helpful," Fisher says. "It's important to be aware that while they might be doing it to express affection, it can be perceived as being possessive, and if so, then it might lead to being seen negatively." This behavior might also warrant a social media break entirely.

Ahrens adds: "The person behaving in such away should ask themselves what their intentions are, for, always, liking, replying, etc. What need is getting met by that behavior?  It might be easy to think 'I just like the brand/person.' But if it’s a pattern and if it’s a 'need,' then there might be something more significant going on."

For those being "creeped" on, they should think about why they feel uncomfortable. Ahrens asks: "Do they feel violated? Does it feel excessive? Is it unwanted?"

All told, remember that anything you put on the internet has consequences.. If you think you're being creepy even for a second, take time to parse that out. And for those being creeped on: That block button exists for a reason.

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